The Road to There Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sweat dripped from Jean-Luc’s brow as he continued with a never-ending series of push-ups intended on venting his frustration. Despite the effort, which was now translating itself into an ever-growing burning sensation in his muscles, he did not feel the least bit better.

It had now been close to a week since his friendship with Beverly had run into a wall. A hell week that had been marred by bouts of insomnia as she had filled his every waking thought.

Get over it, Jean-Luc.

Beverly was as stubborn as they got and he seriously doubted she would change her mind about him.

Her heard the swish of doors, but did not stop what he was doing.

Corey and Marty walked in and looked at one another in silent confirmation that something was indeed bothering their friend.

“Hey, Johnny,” said Batanides.

“Hey Marty.” Jean-Luc’s greeting fell a little bit flat as he continued his exercises.

Corey sat on his bed, while Marty sat on the edge Jean-Luc’s desk.

“So are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Zweller finally asked.

Jean-Luc did two more push-ups, and then stopped. He got up and retrieved a towel that he’d set on top of the dresser. As he wiped his face, he answered, “I’m fine.”

Marty and Corey stared at their friend in silence. They didn’t buy it one bit.

Annoyed, Picard said, “Nothing to get concerned about.”

“We’re just not used to seeing you like this, Johnny.” Marty’s voice was laced with concern. “If this has something to do with Beverly—”

“Why do you assume this has something to do with Beverly?”

“It’s not hard putting two and two together.”

Jean-Luc responded with a slow exhale as he passed his hand through his damp hair. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Batanides and Zweller realized they’d hit a wall and changed tactics.

“It’s Friday, let’s go out tonight. It’d be good for all of us. We’ve been working our butts off all week,” Corey suggested.

“Yeah it’ll be fun, Johnny. What do you say?”

“You two aren’t going to quit until I give in, are you?” When they didn’t answer he pondered their request for a moment and finally yielded. “Okay… you win.” He tried his best to smile at his well-meaning friends.

“Good.” Corey smiled and repeated, “Good, it’s settled then. But first… you should really go take a shower.” That remark earned him a sweat soaked towel to the side of the face.

Marty tried to hold in a laugh, but it came out nonetheless.

* * * *

The bar at O’Callaghan’s Pub was crowded. It wasn’t situated against a wall like in most pubs. It was in the very center of the room and could accommodate a large number of people on the stools that surrounded it. Behind the closed-off counter, three bartenders went about preparing drinks for the patrons.

Jean-Luc and his buddies all sat on one side, a pitcher of draft as well as a large bowl of peanuts in front of them.

“This is the life,” said Zweller as he set his glass down on the counter. “Here we are, in our second year, almost halfway through to graduation. In one of the best bars San Francisco has to offer. Good drinks, good friends.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Marty said as she lifted her glass.

Picard had been doing his best to cheer up all evening, but the fact that Beverly had gotten so deep into his head made it quite difficult.

He’d never had such a reaction toward a girl before. If it didn’t work out with one, he’d promptly move on to the next. That’s the way it had always been since he started here at the Academy. Hell, even before the Academy.

But this time, things were different. He didn’t want them to be, but they were nonetheless.

Corey spotted a bunch of guys he knew from class and excused himself.

Now that she was alone with her friend, Marty decided she’d try her luck at getting him to talk. “Something’s changed. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Jean-Luc had no response to that, so he took a gulp of ale.

Batanides absolutely hated seeing her friend like this. It wasn’t something she was used to. “You really care for her, don’t you?”

The subdued chuckle she got as a response was enough confirmation. She put her hand on his shoulder and spoke in a soft inquisitive tone. “What happened?”

Jean-Luc wouldn’t normally open up about such things, but Marty was a good friend. “She’s afraid of getting hurt. She’s scared that I’m just in it for the chase rather than her.”

“Valerie told me how Beverly has seemed downcast these past few days. She must really care for you too.”

“Even if she does, it’s not really enough, is it? My reputation was bound to catch up with me, I guess.”

Marty wasn’t exactly sure of how to respond. She waited to see if he would say more.

He did.

“Who am I kidding? She’s too good for me.”

That admission was pretty startling. Batanides looked unconvinced. “You can’t be serious. Too good for you?” She crossed her arms. “Excuse me, but who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

Jean-Luc directed an annoyed glance her way.

“Johnny, just listen to yourself. Yes, I admit, you’ve made some pretty bad choices when it came to women but you’re still a great guy. And ever since you started spending time with Beverly, you’ve changed. In a good way, I might add.”

“Whatever good that’s done me.”

“You’re impossible. Obviously, trying to get through to you is pointless.” Defeated, Marty rested her chin on her open palm.

“Hey, what’s with the glum faces again?” said Corey as he took his seat once again. “I thought we were here to have a good time.”

Jean-Luc sat up straighter. “You’re right. We are.” He’d had enough. He was tired of having to prove himself.

The hell with it… As much as he tried to sound convincing in his own mind, Picard had his reservations. Nonetheless, he’d never been one to mope around and despite being in uncharted waters with the extent of his feelings for the lovely redhead, he was determined to try and regain some sense of normalcy to his life.

* * * *

“So are you going to talk to me, or what?” Valerie asked her roommate from the comfort of her bed. In the moonlight, she’d caught Beverly still awake, looking at the ceiling.

Across the small gap that separated the two single beds, the med student replied, “I thought you were asleep.”

“Obviously I’m not. Now, will I have to force it out of you?” Symes softened her tone. “I’m your friend, Bev.”

The redhead turned to lie on her stomach but looked sideways at her roommate as she hugged her pillow. “Have you ever done anything that seemed right at the time but then just as soon came to regret it?”

“Hell yeah. So many times I lost count, even.”

Valerie’s confession made it easier for her to continue. “I think I screwed up.” There was a pause and then, “See, Jean-Luc kissed me the other day.” Beverly smiled sadly in the darkness as the memory surfaced. “And I kissed him back, god how I wanted it… But then, I don’t really know what happened. I backed away, just couldn’t go through with it. I was… afraid.”

“Of what?” Valerie asked softly.

“I was afraid of totally losing myself in him and then getting hurt. Everybody knows he’s not really relationship material. Why would I be any different from all the other girls?”

“What did your gut tell you?”

Beverly sighed. “…That he wouldn’t do that to me. But then my mind wouldn’t let go of the doubts either. Finally, my inner debate decided on self-preservation mode and that was it. What if I screwed up a perfectly good thing? What if… it’s too late to do anything now?”

“There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

* * * *

Baseball was a popular pastime at the Academy on Saturday afternoons. A large portion of the cadet population would gather at the field every week to root for their favorite intramural team.

After the game, the players and some of spectators would hang in the dugouts. Seeing as the weather was nice and the mood cheerful, everyone stuck around for quite some time afterward.

Picard was grateful for the diversion. It helped in keeping any self-loathing thoughts at bay.

The group of people with whom he stood with was a mish-mash of strangers, casual acquaintances and friends.

One person in particular had obviously been trying to get his attention for the past hour or so. She fell in the gray category between casual acquaintance and friend.

In fact, his relationship with her was pretty difficult to describe.

Jean-Luc had met Camille Sullivan shortly after starting his freshman year. At the time, he’d wanted one thing from her and in turn she’d wanted one thing from him.

The striking Ms. Sullivan was very… unique. Two years older than him, she was prone to detached meaningless relationships. In other words, she’d been a good diversion to him, just as he had been to her. But that particular association had been rather brief, but considering the nature of both participants, it had been expected.

Camille was classically gorgeous. Five foot nine, blond with a body to die for, she was used to getting what she wanted. And at that particular moment, her attention was focused on a certain cadet with whom she’d had some pretty good times in the past.

There had been a time when Jean-Luc wouldn’t have thought twice about turning up the charm on her. But that was then.

His personality had branched out since meeting Beverly. He had grown in ways that he seldom thought possible.

Two sides of him were now battling it out ferociously. The surprisingly stronger side, the one that had fallen head over heels for the beautiful med student, was insisting that Camille wasn’t the answer to his problems. The other side, the one that had taken a backseat as of late, was only moderately being successful by itself. In fact, the only reason it could resound over the deafening superiority of Jean-Luc’s newfound ‘sensitive’ side was because of the young man’s obstinacy toward the belief that he would only get over Beverly if he tried to live his life like he used to.

At long last, he threw caution to the wind and struck up a conversation with the pretty blond.

She was flirtatious, extremely so. At first, Jean-Luc seemed open to her blatant effort to re-ignite something between them.

But even his raging hormones weren’t enough to completely shut out his misgivings.

Each and every time he would try to focus on Camille’s face as she spoke, he would get a flashback of Beverly’s smile. That bewitching way she would look at him once their friendship had lifted off the ground.

Dammit… The care-free side of him or rather the one that made him a typical male wished will all its might that she would once and for all get out of his head.

Alas, the whole time he stood there chatting with Camille, a part of him secretly wished that she would disappear and rematerialize as Beverly.

It’s no use…

There was no way he’d be able to spend any amount of time with Camille without having all these thoughts invade him. Not so soon, anyway.

So, grudgingly, he gave in to the fact that this was a hopeless battle for the time being.

With the ‘I have to study’ line as an excuse to bail, Jean-Luc did just that. All the while, his heart was relieved while his brain, or rather, some other part of his anatomy, screamed out in protest.

Oh, shut up, he thought. If the rest of me can deal with it, you can, too.

* * * *

The quiet of his quarters was a welcome relief.

Yet he’d barely been there a minute when he heard a knock on the door. Despite it being naïve, Jean-Luc felt the smallest hint of hope. A hope that a certain med student would be standing outside.

Again, disappointment.

“Camille.” Picard should have been surprised at her sudden visit, but oddly, he wasn’t. “What are you doing here?”

She didn’t bother to wait for him to invite her inside. In a nonchalant manner, the blond walked in. “I just came to see what’s up.”

He looked at her puzzled. “Nothing’s up.”

“Hmm, could have fooled me.” Camille spun around to face him.

“As much as I would enjoy catching up, I do really have a lot of studying to do.” It was a lie of course.

“Since when do you need to waste your weekends studying in order to get top marks?”

“Camille—”

“So serious, Johnny,” she countered while taking the few steps necessary to be able to put her hands on his shoulders. “I’ve missed you. Missed all the fun we used to have. Remember that night on the library rooftop?”

How could he forget? No, I can’t go through with this. It doesn’t feel right. Aloud he said, “We did have some good times. But things are different, I’m different.”

“People can’t change that fast.” A devilish smile appeared on her face and she leaned in to kiss him.

Hormones won out. She pulled him into her web—and he kissed her back.

* * * *

Beverly’s breath came out as a cleansing effort to calm her nerves. She’d gone back and forth about what to do since she’d got up that morning. Her talk with Valerie had helped a lot though and had ultimately pushed her to make a decision.

Each step she took brought her closer to him and at the same time brought her closer to an extreme case of ‘oh my god, what am I doing?’.

There was just too much to say for her to ignore, however. Furthermore, the past few days spent without his friendship had been more difficult than she’d ever thought possible.

When she saw his door, Beverly’s nerves almost got the best of her and she contemplated turning around.

* * * *

Jean-Luc was still very much in the grips of Camille’s seductive onslaught. Oh, for crying out loud, as much as he wanted to be able to take this golden opportunity and run, he just couldn’t.

His conscience protested loudly and he had no choice but to pull back. “No, I can’t. Look, don’t take this the wrong way but—”

“But what?” Instead of looking put-off, Camille seemed even more determined.

Picard was desperate to find the right words to get his point across, but before he could say anything, there was a knock at the door. “Excuse me for a minute.”

Sullivan was patient and so she decided to take a seat on the edge of the bed while he went to see who it was.

Picard opened the door and thought he would faint.

“Hi.” Beverly spoke softly, her inviting features made all the more sweet by the small apologetic smile on her lips. “Can we talk?”

Jean-Luc would have been elated if it weren’t for the fact that the timing for this conversation could not have been worse. He stumbled on his words as he stood on the brink of panic. “I’d love to, but…”

Seeing there was definitely something off with him, the redhead frowned. “Is everything okay?”

He didn’t have to answer.

The fact that there was someone else in his room did not go unnoticed for long. Beverly’s expression changed immediately as she realized that there was a gorgeous blond woman sitting on, of all places, Jean-Luc’s bed.

No wonder he looks mortified.

“Oh,” was all she could think of saying. What did you expect, Beverly? Stupid, that’s exactly how she felt at that moment. Finally she managed, “I see I’ve caught you at a bad time. Just never mind, it wasn’t important anyway.”

Jean-Luc could clearly see that she was trying to disguise the hurt in her eyes. “I know how this looks but—”

“You don’t have to explain. It’s perfectly fine.” She turned and started to leave.

“Beverly, wait.” He stepped through the doorway and went after her.

She stopped in her tracks, and with her back still turned, fought to keep tears from falling.

“It’s really not what you think it is.”

When she turned, she tried to smile as though she wasn’t nearly as bothered as she was. But despite her attempt, the hurt she felt teetered on the edge of spilling forth. It wasn’t only the fact that she’d obviously interrupted something between the two that caused her heartache, but the fact that he was denying it.

It was a struggle to get her choked voice to come out, but it did anyway. “Isn’t it?” With extreme disappointment in her eyes, she managed a saddened smile. “That’s a really nice shade of lipstick you’re wearing.”

Picard immediately brought his hand up and wiped his lips. Vanquished, he looked down. His voice, when it finally came out, was hushed. “Beverly, please…”

The redhead blinked back tears and shook her head. No. “I’ll see you around.”

When she finally walked away, Jean-Luc was left with a void so huge that it threatened to engulf him.

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